Sunday, 26 October 2014


When you start studying for Indian Civil service Exam you come to know much more about India, delving deeper into the History, Geography, Economy and Polity of India – you will find many topics to be greater than you have perceived them in your middle school days. India is much about its freedom from the colonization of British. Each of the pages of every Modern History book details classy account of the ravishing struggle of those pseudo (apparent) Independent Indians – who saw the independent India with their closed eyes and struggled till they had their last breathe to make those dream come true. They were Pseudo (apparent) Independent Indians.
But the general Life science says, any organism in the animal kingdom seeks free living, and it is perhaps the nature which has made its inhabitants like that. So, it is natural to seek independence. Various observations will further unravel this instinct, like that of the wild horse, who needs to be tamed before putting a saddle on its back; how a captive pigeon in the cage looks into the sky, often flatter its heavy wings and desire to fly free! And when an elephant falls in the trap laid by a poacher, and struggle to free itself from the captivity. Why do crime verdicts run away from jail? Why do you want to be Independent?

It is your instinctive RIGHT TO FREEDOM.

The dictionary meaning of 'Pseudo' says, ‘not actually but having the appearance of; pretended; false or spurious; sham; almost, approaching, or trying to be.’

A Pseudo is apparent, and the REALITY is something different. This is what Rahul’s father was trying to make him understand since he got into the IT industry. Rahul was earning ₹3.5 Lakhs with accommodation, the office vehicle provided pick up and drop facility. But was it a pseudo sense of independence? The fear of recession, the fear of losing job, or the fear of losing control over your child is harassing you Uncle? Rahul’s father would never have answered if I would have gone and asked this question, and instead I would have been scorned at, and have been given a fast dinner to convey ‘you are no more wanted, so go home’ or would have had to hear from Rahul, “Papa is not feeling well…” and I would have to hurry back home.

Of course no one will feel good if you hurt their EGO, it is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance. Psychoanalysts say Ego is the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity. But does this parental ego is hurt if a child gets a well of salary? The long awaited Economic independence of a Child is much a treasured moment for parents, then why do the ego of the parents get hurt? Why do the Mushrooming B.Tech colleges end up giving unfathomable happiness through campus drives? Why several employed graduates find it difficult to be at home? Why there are meaningless squabbles and dissatisfaction mounting within conscious parents of the family?

Someone said it is the 'Pseudo Sense of Independence'.

Pseudo-Independence or False Pride is the exact term given by Wendy Freebourne in her book ‘The Joy of Growing Up: Growing Up for Grownups Who Haven't Grown Up Yet’. This term goes specially well with children in their adolescence, who go rebellious to their parents and try to figure out a reactionary over-assertion of independence through make believe pride of independence. But this specific term serves extreme for people in the age group of 24 to 25. They are not kids anymore, and they do deserve a minimum respect of being a part of the family. Even a dog seeks attention, seeks love, and care then they wag their tail. It is invariably another name of love and care which brings respect and esteem within us. In this case what goes well is Newton’s third law of Motion, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. When opposing forces come into contact, the result is motion in a different direction.

Parents: who think their children to have developed the “Pseudo Sense of Independence” must ask to their own selves if they ever had had to put extreme force for some reason to their children which has created the tides to go low. Seeking peer support is not an offence, but seeking peer support in place of parental care is much harmful than letting the puppy loose in the highway. Economic dependency may not be assumed as mental dependence, and dependency should not be presumed as control.  ‘Dependency can be useful because it binds people together in relationships, which promotes stability, if not growth, and gives you, through its familiarity some kind of predictability…However, do not mistake familiarity for intimacy, which is often lacking in dependent relationships’. So before you stuff another fabricated vocabulary on your own child try to introspect. Read through the lines of each of your faults and then try to fabricate a much reasonable alibi for being the neglected ones or the disrespected ones of the universe.

Blossomed Youth: Independence gives you freedom. It also gives you an identity. But there is no true independence, because we being a part of a social world, we are incoherently dependent on one another. Our parents are the inseparable part of our world. While taming your ignorance and wildness of inexperience occasional debates, anger, or thrashing was much significant action to support the known proverb ‘spare the rod, and spoil the child’. They have considerably wanted Good for you. The incoherent dependency is much a positive approach to build a healthier world because it ‘indulges your natural inclinations towards comfort, safety and feel of security’. If you are earning a monthly twenty five grands share a part with the angry old man in your home, or gift the waspish lady a Vim washing bar with a Scrotchbite the next day she complains that you do not bother for the house at all. End of the day they are parents.

If the children are consumed in the ‘pseudo sense of independence’ in their mid-twenties with a job in hand, then I must agree the parents are drowning in the deluge of ‘pseudo insecurity of old-age homes’.

LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE, and Let others LIVE…
This is a community of LIFE, not the grave of PSEUDO-DEADS. 


  1. Metaphor!?
    Metaphors are like fat.
    Fat that we use makes crude essential ingredients test slurp y, delicious, yummy. Relationship is that interface: Fat.
    Skim the fat, like double toned milk, skim all those fat, I did from your essay & what I found is – Millennial problem.
    When everybody knows everything it’s difficult to advice something.
    Advice doesn't work. Never had! It floats.
    Your computer is cocaine. My phone is crack. Can it be otherwise?
    Your absence is hell for someone. Your presence is productive somewhere else.
    You know how everyone’s always saying ‘seize the moment’?
    Wrong! the moment seizes us.
    --- No escape. Not pseudo.