When you start studying for
Indian Civil service Exam you come to know much more about India, delving
deeper into the History, Geography, Economy and Polity of India – you will find
many topics to be greater than you have perceived them in your middle school
days. India is much about its freedom from the colonization of British. Each of
the pages of every Modern History book details classy account of the ravishing
struggle of those pseudo (apparent) Independent Indians – who saw the
independent India with their closed eyes and struggled till they had their last
breathe to make those dream come true. They were Pseudo (apparent) Independent
Indians.
But the general Life science
says, any organism in the animal kingdom seeks free living, and it is perhaps
the nature which has made its inhabitants like that. So, it is natural to seek
independence. Various observations will further unravel this instinct, like
that of the wild horse, who needs to be tamed before putting a saddle on its
back; how a captive pigeon in the cage looks into the sky, often flatter its
heavy wings and desire to fly free! And when an elephant falls in the trap laid
by a poacher, and struggle to free itself from the captivity. Why do crime
verdicts run away from jail? Why do you want to be Independent?
It is your instinctive RIGHT TO FREEDOM.
It is your instinctive RIGHT TO FREEDOM.
The dictionary meaning of 'Pseudo'
says, ‘not actually but having the appearance of; pretended; false or spurious;
sham; almost, approaching, or trying to be.’
A Pseudo is apparent, and the REALITY
is something different. This is what Rahul’s father was trying to make him
understand since he got into the IT industry. Rahul was earning ₹3.5 Lakhs with
accommodation, the office vehicle provided pick up and drop facility. But was
it a pseudo sense of independence? The fear of recession, the fear of losing
job, or the fear of losing control over your child is harassing you Uncle?
Rahul’s father would never have answered if I would have gone and asked this
question, and instead I would have been scorned at, and have been given a fast
dinner to convey ‘you are no more wanted, so go home’ or would have had to hear
from Rahul, “Papa is not feeling well…” and I would have to hurry back home.
Of course no one will feel good
if you hurt their EGO, it is a person's sense of self-esteem or
self-importance. Psychoanalysts say Ego is the part of the mind that mediates
between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality
testing and a sense of personal identity. But does this parental ego is hurt if
a child gets a well of salary? The long awaited Economic independence of a
Child is much a treasured moment for parents, then why do the ego of the
parents get hurt? Why do the Mushrooming B.Tech colleges end up giving
unfathomable happiness through campus drives? Why several employed graduates
find it difficult to be at home? Why there are meaningless squabbles and
dissatisfaction mounting within conscious parents of the family?
Someone said it is the 'Pseudo Sense of Independence'.
Pseudo-Independence or False
Pride is the exact term given by Wendy
Freebourne in her book ‘The Joy of Growing Up: Growing Up for
Grownups Who Haven't Grown Up Yet’. This term goes specially well with children in their adolescence, who go
rebellious to their parents and try to figure out a reactionary over-assertion
of independence through make believe pride of independence. But this specific
term serves extreme for people in the age group of 24 to 25. They are not kids
anymore, and they do deserve a minimum respect of being a part of the family.
Even a dog seeks attention, seeks love, and care then they wag their tail. It
is invariably another name of love and care which brings respect and esteem
within us. In this case what goes well is Newton’s third law of Motion, for
every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. When opposing forces come
into contact, the result is motion in a different direction.
Parents: who think their children to have developed the “Pseudo Sense of
Independence” must ask to their own selves if they ever had had to put extreme
force for some reason to their children which has created the tides to go low.
Seeking peer support is not an offence, but seeking peer support in place of
parental care is much harmful than letting the puppy loose in the highway.
Economic dependency may not be assumed as mental dependence, and dependency should
not be presumed as control. ‘Dependency
can be useful because it binds people together in relationships, which promotes
stability, if not growth, and gives you, through its familiarity some kind of
predictability…However, do not mistake familiarity for intimacy, which is often
lacking in dependent relationships’. So before you stuff another fabricated vocabulary
on your own child try to introspect. Read through the lines of each of your
faults and then try to fabricate a much reasonable alibi for being the
neglected ones or the disrespected ones of the universe.
Blossomed Youth: Independence gives you freedom. It also gives you an
identity. But there is no true independence, because we being a part of a
social world, we are incoherently dependent on one another. Our parents are the
inseparable part of our world. While taming your ignorance and wildness of
inexperience occasional debates, anger, or thrashing was much significant
action to support the known proverb ‘spare the rod, and spoil the child’. They
have considerably wanted Good for you. The incoherent dependency is much a
positive approach to build a healthier world because it ‘indulges your natural
inclinations towards comfort, safety and feel of security’. If you are earning a
monthly twenty five grands share a part with the angry old man in your home, or
gift the waspish lady a Vim washing bar with a Scrotchbite the next day she
complains that you do not bother for the house at all. End of the day they are
parents.
If the children are consumed in the ‘pseudo sense of independence’ in
their mid-twenties with a job in hand, then I must agree the parents are
drowning in the deluge of ‘pseudo insecurity of old-age homes’.
LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE,
and Let others LIVE…
This is a community of LIFE, not the grave of PSEUDO-DEADS.
